Friday, February 29, 2008


Goldorak, Go !

It's been 30 years I watched this on TV on wednesday afternoon. I couldn't miss an episode because the day after we played it again at school with friends during breaks in the hall. Everyone of us had a role to play and It was part of the imagination to add new things. From my point of view It was a good animation film. The language was very good as well. Now that we have the full seasons we can see how the characters evoluated. they started slow with 2 characters and made it grow with many more. The drawings of course changed a bit and became nicer. I guess the technics helped as well after some years. It was for us the start of the japanese era and we discovered all this with passion. With a bit of revival feeling It's a pleasure to see it again, plenty of good feelings, the hero always win even after difficult times, exile, love, save the planet, bla bla bla . I loved the costumes ... .


Tuesday, February 26, 2008

West Beirut

A good friend of mine here in Berlin comes from Beirut, Libanon. He asked me to watch this movie the other day and I was not too convinced about it. But he made a good point saying that it was a bit of his childhood in his country and more of it his history because he lived those events. Then I was curious because it is true it's a part of his life I will never know and because we did not grow up together. For me Libanon and war are related to news on TV and I can't even imagine being able to live those things one day (I wish I won't). So I started comfy in my chair to watch what life really was at this time West Beirut . This is the plot : "In April, 1975, civil war breaks out; Beirut is partitioned along a Muslim-Christian line and is divided into East and West Beirut. Tarek is in high school, making Super 8 movies with his friend, Omar. At first the war is a lark: school has closed, the violence is fascinating, getting from West to East is a game. His mother wants to leave; his father refuses. Tarek spends time with May, a Christian, orphaned and living in his building. By accident, Tarek goes to an infamous brothel in the war-torn Olive Quarter, meeting its legendary madam, Oum Walid. He then takes Omar and May there using her bra as a white flag for safe passage. Family tensions rise. As he comes of age, the war moves inexorably from adventure to tragedy". I must say I couldn't stop watching it because it's so simply made with such a heart that I was moved. The life of this family happy on every point not understanding what's really happening and nevertheless being in the middle of this part of history is tragic. First I never imagined the presence of France in this country was so strong with education. But they are no french and they start to realize that they also have their own culture and history even if it's down to earth. But the film shows it very well and you understand the evolution of the actions made. Everyone tries to live happily together making concessions but it soon starts to be a problem to show off the religion they belong to. The school is the first to close and there is no access to it anymore because it is placed opposite where they live and they can't cross the "border". Of course the children are happy but then realize that without culture and information we are nothing and they soon start to miss past. Then the parents have no job because the administration closes. How do they get the money to buy what they need, it is not said but in the time of war you give solidarity to your own people. But money becomes as well a problem and the child is humiliated not being able to carry on with his dreams. War is first a game and demonstrating is a way of being outside with new people until the day they are under fire and suddenly it's not funny anymore. The children are too soon pushed in the war and they become adults too soon. They did not have the time to live their teenage time because of the events. The parents in this story seem lost and hang on to the past just to get the feeling to have a life. The characters are all amazing and strong. It is not a sad movie because the view comes from the children. The movie describes as well the differences of religion and sometimes fighting for it is useless because in the end you put yourself on the strongest side especially if you're a coward or if you choose to protect the rest you still own. So in the end it's a good presentation of history and you understand that this people is resigned because they already lived too much that anyone can stand. They don't resist, they adapt themselves and wait those strangers to go away from their country. I am thankful to my friend. In a way he opened my eyes and now I understand why he is so attached to his country but feels difficult to be happy there. To conclude I would say the movie shows that we need strong and pure feelings to show to the ones we love just to be able to find our place in the world.

Monday, February 25, 2008


If I go out for dinner I always try to locate places not far from mine. I don't really like to make a journey for dining out and my area is rich enough of bars and restaurants. That explains maybe why I don't move that much. It's also because I start work early and a few steps walking for digestion is better than a taxi drive(r?). The other day I pass by the Kochrausch which is a cooking school and in the place a group of people were having for dinner what they prepared themselves earlier. I found this a good idea but if the teacher is a cook he must have a restaurant in the neighbourhood. And he has : Zoe. It's asiatic and mediteranean food (no originality there, we have plenty of them and some better) so nothing exceptional but the place is nice and you can go without booking. Service is OK maybe a bit too much for me. Prices in the range but you can find cheaper and better nearby. Actually now I remember that they made a mistake with our order and when I pointed out the mistake to the waiter he answered that he will be back in ... 1 minute. And he did. Which means for me that they cook before and bring everything in the place only to warm up. So it's not a good restaurant. Ok, sorry I didn't like it.

Sunday, February 24, 2008


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The doggy style

We had the wonderful great idea to take the dog for the ski holidays.
And what do you do with the dog at the ski holidays ?
You don't ski.

Before sunrise

Just as you take my hand
Just as you write my number down
Just as the drinks arrive
Just as they play your favourite song
As your blather disappears
No longer wound up like a spring
Before you've had too much
Come back and focus again
The walls abandon shape
You've got a cheshire cat grin
All blurring into one
This place is on a mission
Before the night owl
Before the animal noises
Closed circuit cameras
Before you're comatose
Before you run away from me
Before you're lost between the notes
The beat goes round and round
The beat goes round and round
I never really got there
I just pretended that I had
What's the point of instruments
Words are a sawed off shotgun
Come on and let it out
Come on and let it out
Come on and let it out
Come on and let it out
Before you run away from me
Before you're lost between the notes
Before you take the mic
Just as you dance, dance, dance
Jigsaw falling into place
There is nothing to explain
Regard each other as you pass
She looks back, you look back
Not just once
Not just twice
Wish away your nightmare
Wish away the nightmare
You've got a light you can feel it on your back
You've got a light you can feel it on your back

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Ken with Ken

I noticed that I prefer to go out on Friday better than on Saturday (of course I can go out Friday and Saturday !). For this many reasons. After a hard work week the only thing you want to do is decompress of all this dust you have on your body and mind following the stress of the job. You need to clean yourself to be happy again and the only possibility is going out. The people who go out on Fridays are not the same than the ones on Saturdays. Friday you go out because you want to have fun. Saturday you go out because you must and if you're single, you must fuck. So from my side It's no fun. And because I go out on Friday most of the time I have no plan for Saturday except if we organize a dinner at home. And It's also harder and harder to recover quickly when you're not in your twenties anymore. At some point you fall. I don't know how do young people these days. So last evening it was so windy I could not take the bike but the metro. While geting in a group of girls sat together while speaking loudly. I don't really pay attention until the moment I notice that they share together Martini that they directly drink from the bottle. I was very surprised. I can understand It is very expensive to go out and buy a drink at the bar (especially Martini). Nevertheless It's something I noticed lately. Of course here everyone has his bottle of beer afterwork in the street and you don't really care. But alcohol in some bottles of water (water was never brown ?) is a new phenomenom. I remember now that a few days ago I met a woman I saw once at a dinner and we started small talk, you know. But I found her tired and when she left I ask a friend of hers what was wrong. She answered the woman has troubles with her second daughter who is thirteen. One day when she came back from work she found her daughter naked in the bathroom lying with a bottle of vodka ... empty. It makes you think. And It does not seem a way of socialising or to be happy. Young people seem so frustrated, agressive and unhappy. Is this what we did ? It is true that we are the first generation that had to try everything new and we did not manage very well, apparently. I don't say they have all excuses, I say parents dismissed from their responsabilities, certainly because they had other ones. I guess they thought It will go easily like when they wanted to have a new toy and they had it. Well anyway. So I took the metro to meet friends at Barbiebar. I wanted to go there for a long time because I heard a lot about it and wanted to make my own opinion. The area of Mehringdamm is quite far from the center but the gay scene here is very active and It's where everything started in the city. It's one of the takiest bar I ever saw. I know another one as popular as this one but Barbiebar is really something. Barbies everywhere, wood tables and chairs, a corner where you can kiss. But good italian wine and the owners are also very nice Kens. Because I arrived the first one (I am on time, It's boring) I had time to look at the clientèle. I like it because it's a mix of every style but I would say men and women from the neighbourhood who dressed to party. It has this "je ne sais quoi" that makes it friendly. You feel there quite at your ease even alone. Soon the friends arrived and the barman refueled. There was a party at the disco Schwuz. It was back in 1971 a gay culture/information center in the city. They have now at least 12 parties a month with different themes so there is no possibility you don't find one you like. And the entrance is via the café Sundström so you always have the possibility to join the barmen. And the prices are all correct. I had good and bad memories from the place. The first time I went we had a wonderful time and the other times were catastrophy. So I was not that convinced and I had a plan B. We never know. But this time I was one of the last to leave. It was so enjoyable. Pop Music from the 60's, 70's with disco hits like Silvester's You make me feel or Silver Convention's Fly Robin Fly. 3 rooms (one smoking, it's OK, I'll get used to it, although ...) are available to enjoy with different music. Because it was pop oriented last night you heard german music from this period and I can tell they all know the words ! The atmosphere is good and people just enjoy being there. It's one of the rare club in the city you don't need to play a role or wearing the last "no brand" t-shirt of next summer collection. And the best thing is the good wine. They have a nice Côtes du Rhône that took me by surprise with its nuts taste while descending in the throat. Because the music was appropriate I try to make dance with me boys and girls but only some were receptive. First I guess they are ashamed to be leaded and/or they don't have the rythm for it which is a shame. Even the girls do not want to dance. A friend of mine told me they are afraid I will ask for sex in return (heuuu.... no) and I should tell before that I don't want to have sex (they are sooooo complicated but this typically the situation of the country). So really it was like being in the garage of our parents organizing a saturday evening disco. Except that at this period of life we only drank limonade !

Tu passes à l'apéro ?

Well I guess I can't be very proud of this. When French say their cooking is the best in the world (Ok, I agree it's true) and our country is worldwide known for the food we just learn from a study what my fellows buy the most at the supermarket. Let's only talk about the first ten products in turnover. What would be your choice ? Beef, Sea food, Lychees, toilet paper, light bulb ? uh uh ... let's have a look : It is the bottle of Ricard, this very sweet aperitif with the taste of anise that you mix with water and ice cubes. It is famous in summer because at the café terrace or in the garden sat on your plastic chair everybody drinks it (and I don't speak from the camping place). I am sure now that It's not only a summer fashion and we drink it all the time. Thank you America because after being drunk we need refreshments so at the second place comes Coca Cola which entertains our obesity. But the french feels guilty and is sometimes really thirsty so at the third place comes the six pack bottle of water that nobody knows except It's cheap. It is true that we don't really trust la agua municipal and certainly for good reasons. But what do we eat will you ask me ? the first non-liquid product comes at the fourth place and again what do you think will appear ? Nutella ! It is a chocolate paste you spread on your bread or simply with a spoon directly to your mouth. Then comes water and beer again and water and water together with coffee powder. But in my country what do we eat will you ask me ? nothing. We don't eat, we drink. Now I have the choice : getting drunk or opening a restaurant.

Friday, February 22, 2008

It's only art

I can't say I am much interested in arts and culture. I would say I am what my english friend calls it "above average" which I guess is a compliment. It means that I like it and I enjoy exploring but I am no freak and my taste is : I like it or not. I can say why I find a piece good or bad to my taste but when I hear critics most of the time I don't understand or at the best it makes me laugh. Especially at openings. I never go alone. I don't want to be too quickly bored, I want to have fun and play the game for a little while, and if there is food and drinks, why not ? It happened last Wednesday at a new design shop. It's on the "other side" (on the west one) so it's far but I like the works of the designers and I just wish I had the budget to afford what they do. The idea of the opening was japanese. I am not a big fan of sushis but together with sake it deserves my attention. I didn't know there was so many sorts of sake. I hardly drank it before as I find this liquid not really tasty. But the food going in and the glasses going out with in between fresh water I must admit It is an experience. Don't ask what we had I can't tell. It's just I never thought this transparent thing could warm my body so easily. Moshimoshi

Thursday, February 21, 2008


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Cuisine et dépendance

We made a badmington game with colleagues between two departments. First it was fun and I looovvve playing the pom pom girl and I am very good at distracting the other team while it plays. So they lost, of course. The bet of the game was a dinner at home. A french one. So all of us were invited. The German will arrive right on time with empty hands, will take off his shoes and wait at the table to be served and the quickest the better. Don't try to cook anything too "exotic" like mixing salt and sugar tastes for example. Don't mix anything together (like a soup) because he won't touch the spoon (he doesn't know what's inside the liquid, true ! I asked). Better water than wine or maybe beer (of course) or to please the host a slip of white wine. If you invite the French at dinner don't ask him to come too early, he will not understand, will not be ready, will arrive late and will drink too much ... before. Because most of us are French and from Paris we know the rule, we know the game. Please bring a little something for the hostess like flowers and/or wine (better red) or anything funny object you found at the design shop. You will be welcomed with a glass visiting the house. Then you will be guided to the sofa and start to talk while waiting for every guest to be there. Then all together we will start to empty the bottle and It's now more than 10.00 p.m. and you feel a bit hungry but you open the second bottle (maybe the third...). The starters will soon be on the sofa table and the host will do return journeys to the kitchen to be sure everything is under control. When everyone's ready you'll be guided to the dining table where normally you are placed because you made a table plan to be sure that everyone will go well together, usually girl-boy-girl boy. That's why most of the french dinners have even numbers of guests. Anyway, soon the plates are on the table and you compliment the host for his cooking. It is much easier to cook fish than meat and it will be much appreciated because at home we don't do it much, especially here where finding fresh fish is difficult. Then it will go on and on and you soon realize that "Oh it's already that late" and you have to wake up in a few hours. Sometimes we even forget the dessert but rarely the coffee (espresso of course). A last drink ? (for the road we say, we have such a sense of humor) and then it starts again. No, really I should go now. Thank you, it was an unforgettable evening. Don't forget to take the aspirin before going to bed and drink at least a bottle of fresh water. You get headache in the morning because you are deshydrated, not because you drank or smoked a lot. Of course not. Not at french dinners.

Monday, February 18, 2008

The 5th one

Saturday's afternoon's concert was at the concert hall at Gendarmenmarkt. You can't miss it : it's between the 2 churches. There is an explanation why those are named "French" and "German" but I simply forgot. I just can say that Gendarme in french means someone from the police. In France not every policeman depends of the same ministry. Anyway this concert hall is very nice ; statues, marble floor, big candelabres and the plus is that at the break you can go out smoking your cig with your glass of wine because the doors of the terrace are opened. Ok, these days are cold and because I put my coat at the garderobe I'm just freezing ... maybe waiting for the doorman to warm me up with his cape but this is another story. Bruckner was played at the first part ; not my fav must I say and even sometimes a bit difficult for the ears especially when it talked about marching to war. So we really needed the break and after that we heard Beethoven 5e symphonie . As usual with Beethoven the conductor (the same as with the 9th at Christmas) played it too fast (I guess he's bored playing the classics) and it's now funny to see the musicians trying to follow the rythm or to smile at him while resting between notes. It's an excuse to go out.

Sunday, February 17, 2008


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The movie I just saw is so bad that I am happy to throw the ticket in the bin.
Voilà !

The book of illusions

While reading this you can hear the Overture : Bach : Suite n°2 in B minor BWV 1067 (John Elliot Gardiner).
I am at a point of my life that I don't want to make things complicated. I used to worry a lot, to own a lot of things, having an interior colourful with lots of furniture, to want to be the king of the world. The mistake is that I wanted to be recognized by the things I owned instead for what I am. All this changed and now everything I want is minimalism and enjoying simply events of life. I don't say I can't be hit again by unexpected things but at least I could tell to myself : until now was OK. It is the same with little pleasures. Reading a book is sometimes complicated. It's not that I am not interested but I admit there are books I can't read. I had the experience with Paul auster's Moon Palace and I remember even if I understood the words I felt lost. The only time I read a book is deep in the warmth of my bed before sleeping so i said this one's not for me. As I already said my friends give me their opinion about the book they read and I trust their advice so I say to myself "why not ?". When I had the Book of illusions in hand I took time to open it. I was reading something else and did not want to stop in the middle of it but temptation was too big and I started to read it because some critics say it's the best one of the author (marketing darling, marketing ...).
So this the plot : "After losing his wife and young sons in a plane crash, Vermont professor David Zimmer spends his waking hours mired in grief. Then, watching television one night, he stumbles upon a lost film by silent comedian Hector Mann, and remembers how to laugh... Zimmer's obsession with Mann drives him to publish a study of his work; whereupon he receives a letter postmarked New Mexico, supposedly written by Mann's wife, and inviting him to visit the great Mann himself. Can Hector Mann be alive?"
I was not thrilled with the first part while you discover the no-life of the main character. It's easy to let you go down and that's why you fall easily into it. I know the feeling and it is absolutly comprehensible and yeah Baby, let it out ! but it is much harder to re-start a life and that is why my opinion would say this phase of going deeper and deeper in misery lasts too long (in the book I mean, not in real life ; I guess you never recover of such events). Once the other story starts with this movie director who disapeared it's becoming much more interesting to read because you want to know what happened to him that made him left so spontaneously. And when both stories meet together it's even better. Sadly there is no happy end (sadly, could have been) but I guess the author wanted to make it tragic and the character has to make it alone and this was only a passage of his life to help him to put his feet back on the ground. I read it in french because I know Auster can be difficult to read in his language. It's a good book, meaning that I am no critic and I only give my opinion and I don't have to proove anything with all the tra la la sometimes I hear or read. But take your time if you're interested. It gives you the feeling that somewhere someone something will help you to come back to reality and make you understand nothing you really are is lost for ever. Don't expect a novel you can't close to know what's happening next page. In this case I'm lucky : I'm very slow at reading.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

I love myself (it's good for the mood)

It was Valentine's day ? wheeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnn ?

Special cacededi for R.

To rachie . It's a shame you didn't tell me before. I would have made pictures for you when I met the crew of the movie. I can't leave a comment to your journal so I make it public. Thank you and have a nice week-end.


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Crema catalana

It all started at the dinner table. We wanted first to try this french restaurant (I'll try it later) but no table was available so the plan B was to go to the spanish one that I looked for a long time : Bar Celona . I remember while living in Barcelona I enjoyed everytime those tapas to share at the table so I wanted to see if we could export the concept. Well, it does, fortunatly. But the quality compared to what I experienced is not exactly as good as expected, nevertheless it's good food. We had those croquetas, patatas bravas, queso manchego, crema catalane ... that I like very much. The service is nice as well, a bit long following the german standards but I don't mind opening the second bottle while the (spanish and nice) waitress does what she can alone in the room and anyway one of the friend was veeeeeery late. Again the German have early dinner so when we started at 10.00 p.m. it was not empty but almost. Even the café solo is good, like I used to drink it and not that brown water we serve you here. The girls wanted to look after men (it's week-end ...) so I took the people to Lining. That's where I take my straight friends because it is very posh, you can smoke and the drinks are bad and expensive. But everbody loves it. If you're lucky you can lay on big sofas in the middle of Mitte boys and Mitte girls (Mitte is my area and my friends say I look completely at my place!) looking and criticising all those bees trying to play a role. Nice looking men and girls but my world started to get bored and had the need to speed up. I heard about a party in my neighbourhood and while the girls changed their clothes to be ready for the big night I tried it alone. Good for me, not even worth mentioning it : expensive, bad music, empty, out please and quick. And it was good timing because we all joined a few minutes later, took a taxi (it's worth in the city) and headed to the place I wanted to try as well Tresor. I remember this club was very famous years ago when it was located near Potsdamer Platz. Because the owner of the building sold the whole corner the club had to find a new location. It is based now in the lower floor of the electricity company. It is very big, crowdy and smoky and the shots of vodka started. But the music and people were not as I expected, you never find twice the same ambiance and your memories are all what it lasts. Earlier the club was known for its alternative scene. People went there to experience unknown emotions that are long gone. Thanks to globalisation when the spanish come here they can feel like home. So it was not yet sunset and another group of friends send me a message to inform that they were at Kaffee Burger which was a good plan because it's at my corner. So a good spot to finish myself. The good news is that at this place you don't talk with people because you want to have sex for the rest of the day (well men always try with girls but at a certain even sex is "hard" to get) but just to have a chat which is very relaxing. But I don't like going back home when it's already day light. This morning was an exception but it is true that we are far east where the sun comes up earlier ! And In the mood I was I didn't see much light anyway.

Friday, February 15, 2008

New dimension

So yesterday was work colleagues' day and we decided to try in a new bar, that's in the mood for all of us this year. I have good colleagues so I am not afraid to go out with them. Most of the time you would say "no" to the invitation at the best or you will let yourself go and regret it as soon as you enter the bar saying to yourself "what am I doing here ?". So we went to Wendel. It's a nice place in Kreuzberg full of old things made of pieces hunted in the streets. But all chairs are comfortable, sofas as well, you can smoke, and we made a lot of noise and "who ordered the third bottle of wine ?" . I thought it would be a quiet place but no, it wasn't. So many people meet there, I guess it's because of the clubs nearby. We forgot to have dinner so we left not too late. Each of us went his own way and because it was Thursday I took the opportunity not to be far to join the party at Moebel Olfe and it was as usual packed. I recognized some friendly faces and all this group took the way to Chantal house of shame right on time for the concert. Today was a bit difficult at work and I didn't have time to manage a siesta. It is now Friday and I must go out so the table is booked at the restaurant. Stop reading this and do something civilized straight away : go out, there are parties everywhere. No rhyme No reason

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Chanson française

We sadly learn today that our french singer Henri Salvador passed away. At 90 years old he played a big part in the chanson française. Born in Cayenne in 1917, french colony in South America, he moved to France and once Ray Ventura heard him in a cabaret in south of France he took him with his band for a tour in ... South America. When he came back in the country in the late 40's he wrote a lot of successful popular songs like "une chanson douce". Then in the 50's he met Boris Vian and both of them composed (it is said) 400 songs like "Rock Hoquet" and "le blues du dentiste" and introduced in France Rock music. The hit of the 60's will stay "Syracuse" and in the 70's became TV showman. He was the first artist to create his own label and owned his work. Then he was a bit lost until 2000 when he came back with a wonderful album "Chambre avec vue" and since then made 2 other ones with the last in 2006 "Révérence" which means in french that he will leave soon. He hardly believed that young people could love his work but this is what happened and he was the first surprised. He played on tour a lot and was never tired laughing (he was famous for his laugh, very noisy but communicative. I chose a duet with the swedish jazz singer Lisa Ekdahl All I really want is love because it is a nice song and we can enjoy listening his smooth voice which was his style in the last albums. A very nice career indeed.


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Monsieur Météo

When it is sunny it's cold. That means when I leave home for work on the bike sometimes it's all white. With good music It's fine and I arrive at work before the sun comes up. So from my big window at the office I face sunrise and this morning was magic. It only last one minute and I was so concentrated to watch the colours of the sky changing at every second that I took the picture at the last moment with the phone and it is unfortunatly not a good quality. The bad thing is that the reds are not visible when the sky was mixed from dark to bright blue and in between oranges and reds. That was fabulous. A good morning. I'm a rainbow


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Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Dream Boy

I just saw a wonderful movie at the Berlinale. Dream Boy. It is taken from a 1995 novel by Jim Grimsley. Nathan (Stephan Bender) just moved with his family from town to the middle of nowhere in Louisiana. From the start you know something is wrong in the family. I know it is normal to go to church and to call your dad "Sir" but it feels strange from my side. I guess when you're a teenager lost on your own in a family who says graces at the dining table you can't openly express yourself. Nathan is alone and lives in his head like most of youngs outside the city and "phantasises" about his neighbour, Roy, who is a bit older and drives the school bus everyday, so they meet. They start to help each other at school because one is good at english, the other one good at math. And they touch for the first time... . From the start you know it can't be a nice story, something will happen anytime. Both boys share an exclusive relationship because they have to hide. I understand that outside of town in closed families you have to respect rules. Nathan's dad is bad. It's only said in the end but you understand easily there was some king of child abuse and the mother tries to fight her husband the best she can. Nathan sometimes sleeps outside home and Roy comes to rescue him and finds him a place to sleep in the barn. Troubles come from Roy's friends who can't really stand this new born friendship and it will end very badly. While going out for the week-end camping the four boys land in a ghost house like Louisiana is full of those stories and we know boys give themselves courage telling those things. Nathan hears his father's voice and it comes soon to his mind that his father raped him. At this moment Nathan opens his eyes and one of Roy's friend rapes him and beats him up with a piece of wood. At this point unfortunatly I did not really understand if Nathan is dead or not. My version would say that Roy is so sad that when Nathan comes back to the house he leaves in the dream of seeing him again. Or maybe Nathan just wakes up from this tragic accident and Roy is now able to openly lives his love with him, you'll tell me when you'll see the movie. I was thrilled by it, really. I went without notice nor information and this is a good surprise. It's all about discovering feelings, the body, the no-way of being gay in a traditional family. You know in movies the gay can't be happy. Either he's miserable or queer. Especially when you are a teenager having feelings for another boy it is dangerous because you know you'll be lost for ever in front of the community. And it is beautifully made, slow as Louisiana can be, with just a touch of music that brings everything at the right moment. The actors are all good and of course special good thank you's to both young actors. At the end of the presentation everyone was there : the director, both main characters and the novelist. He says that it is not based on his own story but he took from his past the big lines for it as he said his father was not that comprehensive and did things to him not really recommandable and it is definitly difficult being gay in that country. Director James Bolton made a wonderful job and it was a bit funny from the boys to explain how they manage their character, especially Roy (Maximillian Roeg) who said that he had to discover everything because he's a city boy from London. I even asked autographs, how queer is that ? If you have the chance to see it, please do. It brought back memories I thought lost when coming out was out of the question and there was only one possibility to go farther : to hide what you are, live in danger continuously or leave. In the end they say that this film is for the first time showed and they never had the opportunity to see it in the full version before, which is now a good thing done. The public was moved and there was a standing ovation to congratulate them for the good job and the emotions they gave us. I saw tears in some eyes ...

Monday, February 11, 2008


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Last evening was a concert at the Philarmonie . The program was short but let's say, intense. First play was the second quartett for violin, viola, violoncello and a Sopranist, op. 10 of Arnold Schönberg. I am not a big fan and at the break as usual I stay on the first floor to have a look at the people walking and drinking on the groundfloor, I love it, especially when some of them notice that they are being watched, by me. I was expecting much more of the second part from Anton Bruckner Mess for Choir and orchester WAB 27, released from 1882. The Rundfunkchor Berlin was pleasure again. The last emotion with it was at the Berliner Weihnachtskonzert and now with this piece you just can't fall asleep as sometimes it happens at the concert hall while listening to classical music. Even the orchester was small. I noticed normally the voice tries to cover the music but last evening the music was desperatly trying to be heard but the choir is too strong and the quality of the voices is amazing. I could even sometimes hear voices in particular and it makes a special effect I never had before. And don't imagine the strongest man has the strongest bass voice. Yesterday the strongest man has the highest voice. Yesterday took place the Grammy and the winner is :
"Best Choral Performance (Award to the Choral Conductor, and to the Orchestra Conductor if an Orchestra is on the recording, and to the Choral Director or Chorus Master if applicable.)
Brahms Ein deutsches Requiem, Simon Rattle, conductor; Simon Halsey, chorus master (Thomas Quasthoff & Dorothea Röschmann;
Rundfunkchor Berlin; Berliner Philharmoniker)[EMI Classics]"
It can be proud of the price and I guess they are celebrating at this very moment.
After the concert walking back to take my bus I noticed flashes at the nearby Berliner Palast where the main shows take place while there is the Berlinale . So don't ask me who was there, I'm always amazed how people can scream to an actor to sign autographs, I just don't get it but it's fun being there and watch the crowd and the flashes of the cameras hung to photographers' neck trying to take picture of the movie star. I'm wrong : I recognize Willem Dafoe.

Visiting flats ?

Sunday, February 10, 2008


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Sometimes it's just the right moment to smoke cigar. It's not the same that smoking cigarettes. I smoke cigarette because I like it and in parties, bars and restaurants because it gives me a gesture. But I'm a heavy tar smoker and after a while I don' t even need to smoke anymore because my mouth is full of the smell. I don't even enjoy the wine anymore. Smoking cigar is something else. I need time and to be peaceful. Yesterday was exactly the right time. I had no plan for the evening. I went in a cosy bar, ordered a nice glass of wine and lighted my cigar. It's no big long cuban one because I can't smoke those things and of this size I prefer something else in my mouth but those mild ones that do not last too long and you don't need to re-light every 2 minutes. It was not that crowdy, not that noisy, cold outside. The thing with cigar is that it is most of it only tobacco when in cigs you find a lot of different chemicals. The same brand of cigs does not have the same taste here and in another country (true, tested and not approved), it's like orange juice or tea bags you bring back from the UK because you liked it there and back home it's not that tasty anymore (it's the water daaaaarling). Cigar as long as you take the same tobacco will not differ from taste. So having this I went through the things I accumulate in my pockets and found this back : Art walking . It's simple and good idea. You don't like art and your afficionado friends or family come for a week, you like art but new in the city, do not like tourist guides, you want private visits or to come inside from "entrée des artistes", all those things related to art in Berlin, this one's for you. Art walking will do it for you and with you. And it must have been the art day because earlier I remember talking with Conrad Dornberger . He leaved in Spain like I did and came back to his country to finish his studies at the arts university. I guess it's easier in your language, even though sometimes... A non-artist like me having a conversation with an artist is always very nourishing. Will I light a second cigar ?

Saturday, February 9, 2008


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French touch

Bumcello - Sararévé

The Living End ... remixed

There is of course the Berlinale. There is also the Teddy queer film award. I think outside being a star it's kinda stressing to work in the film industry (funny word isn't it ? industry for films). You only see the glamourous side of the scene but at festivals you meet people with black or red eyes obliged to see a quantity of movies that the brain can't take. That's maybe why most of the time they leave the room to write their article thinking they saw the whole thing. I think they don't enjoy anymore but of course at the party tonight they will talk about the movie like never before ! We can't see everything and to get tickets is also a pain in the ass because even if you booked on internet you have to queue hours to get them. I have a german friend who is very organized (and also more available than me) and the program made and booked we went to see yesterday a 1992 film called The living End but the remixed version, meaning that because it was made at the time in 16mm the remastering was welcome. It's "on the shoulder" camera so you have the feeling to be in the middle of the scene. I make it short with the story : a gay is informed one afternoon by his doctor that he is HIV+ (play safe !) and thinks about one thing : death, until an intruder, self destructive, takes him in a road movie where he finds out that home and friends is not that bad afterall. We always have to think that the movie was made in 1992, at a time that Aids was known but not as handled as it is today. The director Gregg Araki explained us at the end of the projection that when the movie came out it was a revolution because nobody showed to public before the way infected people were lost. I don't say it's not the same today but we know even if there is no cure we have more chances to live longer today being HIV+ than 17 years ago where people were dying on the streets and nobody took care of them afraid of being contaminated. So we understand why one of the character is ready to leave what he thinks his last moments intensively doing exactly what he wants at the moment he wants it. But it turns to be chaos. And even if he's saying that he will die soon, frankly said, we will all and maybe before him. Nevertheless it's a beautiful story. Of course under this pressure of having no time they burn every step with love, sex, talk, acts, and that makes us feel the urge. It's nice to see those two youngs who can't live together because their situation is too extreem but they can't live without each other neither. So it's difficult. It's also a nice way of seeing friendship. The young has a strong friendship with a girl and she feels abused and lost because his friend is gone. It makes me think that friendship can also be dangerous. You always think that your friends are there but they can go away as well. In this case you want revenge and you do and say all you can to make them understand they made a mistake. They feel abandonned. The girl in the movie expresses it by ruining her life waiting desperatly that her friend comes back. He should do. But your friends are no possession. What will you better live : friendship or love ? One sentence I liked in the film is when both of them have sex and we feel that it is good and one asks the other : "if you had to choose, what would you die for : sex or love ?" I can't answer. But in french we can say that : dying of love for someone. But it could be another movie ...


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Friday's child

We've been told to live our lives
Just working on a feeling
Waiting for the sun on what
We do believe in
I'm every man
I hear the cry of someone else
A drowning man reaching out
But no-one hears
I know a man living out his life
Without a reason
And he says...
Monday's got a beautiful baby
And Wednesday's child can never win
Little Saturday will work till he's crazy
But Friday's child was born to give
Now what about all the unborn people that will suffer
At the hands of Mr. Right
Who cares about no other
I see a mother who lets her children use her up
I know a father who sacrifices his wayward son
I wonder
What you give that someone else is needing nothing
Next to nothing

Thursday, February 7, 2008


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The wanderer

Sometimes I play The wanderer . I left work early, at about 4.00. Early in the afternoon but I started at 7.00 so that means because I'm slow in the morning I wake up at 5.00. I thought I could go to the pool but I like to change areas so I decided to go somewhere else. I heard from friends and colleagues that the Swimming pool in Landsberger Allee is vey nice and I took the bycicle and went to see how it is. Well, I didn't find it so easily. I made the mistake to go too far and reached another pool. It was the wrong one and drove back. I found it really by mistake when I wanted to see something else, some kind of Forum lost in the city. I first thought it was a park but actually the pool is underneath ! big surprise. The place is the biggest I ever saw. The ones who come there are strong swimmers and I said to myself it will be difficult to even try to follow them. Of course I took the wrong lane and because they swam too fast for me I changed lane. And yet it was too slow but the damage was done and I couldn't move my left shoulder anymore. So I stopped at even not 700 meters which is bad. Anyway after some chat in the changing rooms I took the bycicle back and got lost ! I didn't know where I was, tried to see where the Fernsehturm was (it's a good spot) and didn't see anything. I just drove straight down and it happened to be that I was way too far from the center. At this point I said that I needed a drink but wanted to visit a new place ... that I never found ! It's such a bad evening. I drove back home very tired, parked the bike, went for a drink at the corner reading the paper and now it's time for bed. Tomorrow is friday and it's time to have a look at the Berlinale .

Monday, February 4, 2008



I would say sometimes Berlin has this "savoir vivre" that Paris lost. My city is yet too posh. It became a window of dreams for romantic tourists and a reality of nightmares for its inhabitants. Berlin keeps for the time being something unfinished and preserves some surprises. It's changing at light speed and we were talking about it with friends at last saturday's dinner. Our neighbourhood Mitte is now becoming a Hugo Boss shopping mall and if you don't find clothes you'll find shoes. Even institutional cafés closed. Lately I wanted to go back to two of them which are next to another : closed. Rent too expensive. At the term of the contract, the owner wants to re-negociate it and only rich companies can afford the price. It's a shame and sad because history is vanishing. Nevertheless we still have good news. Berlin is re-inventing itself continuously and there is always something to discover. Today's information is not really new. It exists since a few years but it had to renew itself because it only had a summer season's life : Badeschiff. It's near the best spot of the summer to have cool fun : Freischwimmer (I just loooove this place, but only open in summer like most of the "beach" bars). Opposite this place you have the Arena which is a concert hall and next to it a disco as well where the Bollywood parties take place. You also have a flee market but frankly said if you're into it the best one stays in Friedrichshain at Boxhagener Platz. And in the end of the street once there is only water you'll find the Badeschiff . Everything is in the title : Bade- as for baden : to have a bath, to swim and -schiff as for boat. So clearly said the boat where you can swim. Actually it's not a boat but you get the picture once you're there. It's a pool with areas to have a tan on the Spree which is the river of the city. In Summer of course it's packed. But it's worth the visit. Outside in the city to enjoy the sun and to have the possibility to have a swim is luxury. Be only aware that your ticket is available 2 hours. Don't expect to stay the full day for nothing. But for the time you're there it's happiness and everyone enjoys your beautiful body you soooo had a hard work to sculpt the rest of the year. But it's not all. A contrario of the other places Badeschiff stays opened in winter because they cover it. And it's beautiful : You feel like in the Noe's Arch (well I wished it's so cosy and lighted) or maybe a spaceship that had not enough space to land at the airport. Don't expect neither to play the FKK way : naked. If you like to live naked contact them and fly to the north of the country to the cold windy but very nice beaches and then you will feel free. Be aware that you will have to fly naked. I wish the temperature in the plane is higher than on any other flight because if you're like me, I most of the time freeze during the flight. You will not be allowed to arrive undressed at the airport. You'll undress in the plane. This journey costs a fortune from south to north of the country but the tour operator is fully booked and receives calls from Italy to Brazil. So more near us if you want to play it cool and if you're gay the tip of the day would be "go there !" Mondays from 22:00 until 3:00 : It's naked cruising night, men only. Enjoy, you'll tell me.

Saturday, February 2, 2008


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There are places you like to go to for all the reasons of the world. But that means that you don't let your sense of adventures let you drive to new things. You go to the same places as well because you like to be recognised and you like it when the waiter brings your martini sweet just the way you like it without asking. It gives you some kind of superiority compared to the other clients of the place. Like going in a french restaurant I'm happy when at least someone from the place speaks my language. Food is not only a matter of ingredients it's also a matter of culture. So if you're interested with the food of a country take a moment for a journey. I can understand it's difficult to go out alone and being watched at the bar but you will notice you're not the only one. You don't have the same attitude when you go out in a group or by yourself. When you're with your friends you hardly pay attention to the other ones except maybe for an eye contact and quickly thinking this one could be your next target to help you fill the night. Alone is not a bad place to be and sometimes there is good surprises. People come to meet you. Probably they feel sorry for you and want to include you in their group or you disturb them because you have time to look around and you have nothing else to do. Being the target has its advantages as well. You can make your choice. Discovering new places makes you move in the city. There is no best way to have the feeling of the area if you spend little time there. The funny thing is that you forget that at your corner there is a life. It happened to me just last week. One evening the weather was bad I had nothing to do. Just those moments you want to be in a public place listening to noises drinking a glass of wine and smoking your cig. No way to take the bike nor the public transports and it was already not that late but there is work tomorow. And the idea of wandering round the corner poped up. Good idea actually. My area is full of surprises. I discovered last week a very trendy place where you can eat good german food (yes you read correctly) for cheap prices. I was there again last evening with my work colleagues and made them try the specialities of the country. It's like Mum's kitchen. The place looks like a tired cantine but the atmosphere is good, the service very friendly, the bottle of wine of 1,5 liter and you can smoke. One of my colleague who does not live in my area made us dicover some bars around my street so it was quite funny. We even finish the evening in a nice place playing baby-foot and dancing on rock music for which I don't know the steps. It's the concept here of Gaststäte which goes together with another one : Stammtisch. Don't try to translate. It's to describe a place where you always come, where there is always a place for you and your friends can leave a message if necessary or wait for you because everybody knows you 'll come by. So you see pleasure is sometimes only a block away.