Thursday, July 31, 2008


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Gay Romeo

Doing our sex shopping on internet is something I will probably never understand. Putting a cross on multiple choices to select the guy of your dreams, just never happen. I remember one time, I was in a bar and started to do small talk with a guy and it came very quickly the question : "what's your profile ?" sorry ? As if he would know me better if he could read what I put on internet. It kills the relationship. I keep believing if I go out, maybe I'll meet someone interesting. If I do not, bad luck, it will be for next time. Furthermore, most of the times, guys put a nice holiday picture, when they are in top form, with a nice sun tan, smiling to the camera ... years ago. Reality is way far from the picture and you loose your appetite. Friends want me to settle a profile on gay websites but I just don't know what to write and I am more valuable in open air than in front of a computer. And you're alone in front of it when the city has millions of inhabitants. Chatting hours long to describe myself is boring me you can't believe and I am too impatient to carry on. Even if It happened to people I know to meet nice guys, I don't trust the system. I guess when you are on the other side of the world, you can enjoy chit chat but my will to meet physically people is too strong. Internet could be like drinking alcohol. You feel stronger, nicer, good looking, and pass to the other guy just because you wrote something he didn't like. This is stupid. How can you reveal your personality typing words ? Furthermore, you can lie and if you ask personal questions, suddenly you're scared. And I don't talk about the fact of sending your picture. Answering questions if I'm top or bottom or what do I like in bed, receive no answer from me because sex is a chemistry between bodies and not a cooking receipe you have to follow page after page. Definitely not my cup of tea.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Lesson Nr. 8

Happiness is to have an occupation we like
in François lelord's "Hector's journey"

Monday, July 28, 2008


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Don't fly me !

It has been reported that an employee of Ansett Australia (Airlines) who happened to have the last name Gay got on a plane recently using the 'Free Flight' offer for staff. However when Mr.Gay try to take his seat, he found it occupied by a Fare paying customer. So, not to make a fuss, he simply chose another seat. Unknown to Mr Gay, another Ansett Flight at the Airport experienced mechanical problems. The passangers of this flight was re-routed to various other airplanes. A few were put on Mr Gay's flight and anyone who was holding a 'free' ticket was being 'bumped'. Ansett Officials, armed with a list of these 'Freebee' ticket holder boarded the plane, as is the practise, to remove them in favor of Fare paying passangers. Of course, our Mr Gay was not sitting in his assigned seat as you remember. So when the Ticket Agent approched the seat where Mr. Gay was supposed to be sitting, she asked a startled customer "Are you Gay ?', The man shyly nodded that he was, at which point she demanded: "Then you have to get off of the plane'. Mr. Gay, overhearring what the Agent had said, try to clear out the situation : "You've got the wrong man, I'm Gay!" This cause an angry third passenger to yell : "Hell! , I'm gay too, they can't kick us all off!" Confusion reined when more and more passangers began yelling that Ansett have no right to remove gays from their flight. It is reported that Ansett have refused to comment on the incident.

Sunday, July 27, 2008


Berlin, like any other city, has many areas named Mitte, Prenzlauer Berg, ... . Two other ones are Friedrichshain and Kreuzberg, geographically separated by the river Spree. For obscure administrative reasons, Both have been linked together but the inhabitants do not hear this union with the same ear. And the "war" begins. This is symbolic (although ...) but once a year both sides fight (literaly) on the Oberbaumbrücke, one of the most famous bridge in the city. Traffic is stopped, boats are not allowed to sail anymore for the day (the last one who did, remembers that day very well), no metro, no nothing. Both camps meet on the bridge, the police blocks both accesses and the fight can start. It is said that most of the time, Friedrichshain is the winner. People arrived covered of plastic bags, anything they find to protect themselves. Their target is of course the adverse side and their munitions are rotten fruits and vegetables, eggs, water balloons (water ?), one year (I think It was in 2005) some even build a tank in cardboard. It was easy for the other side to burn it ! It all starts with laughs and good humour, It can end with fights and interventions of the police. I can understand, you recall your basics instincts of fighting and It must be a thrill for participants. It was this week-end in Berlin.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008


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Man Ray

Nothing to do with Man Ray here except with the pictures and paintings on the wall. Here we talk about food. I went yesterday to this newly opened restaurant. It's near my place as usual and I noticed it last week-end. Because I had a dinner with a friend I suggested we try this one. The deco is nice. I like the furniture outside, nothing special but comfortable. Inside is also cool with all in wood, those golded sofas and the white napkins. This is important to me, the white napkin. I ordered glass of Côte du Rhone, though I took fish but I hardly drink white and It was fine. Service is friendly until the food arrived. We were both disapointed. My thuna was Ok but not grilled as i like it. Furthermore too many tastes together kill the taste and I don't mix carrotes purée with green bones. The same kind of stuff in the other plate. When the waiter came to pick up the plates, he asked what was our impression, and we gave it to him. He turned back without comments and never came back. We just left. Forget. Too expensive for what you become, anyway.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Sunday, July 20, 2008


This is exactly what you think of a darkroom. You’re in a disco (gay or not), there is a place where you can have sex, you go in there, already a bit drunk, your throat already dry by cigarettes, not really motivated, not seeing really something (my advice : take off the sunglasses, OK, but why do they not switch on the lights ?), but nevertheless with this little think deep inside and mostly in your dick waiting to grow. So lust is there and you want to have sex. This is Homoerotic. But sex is not only a physical thing and sometimes you can’t have any because you’re thinking about something else. And what if … (he’s nice with me, I want to bring him home, I got sick, it’s too biiiiiiiiiiiiig, not my type, not what I expected, better the other one …). This short shows all this. Even if you don’t speak Spanish, It’s OK. You get the picture with the images (the boys at the end of the act speak in their mind "do you want to talk ?", "I live round the corner, do you want to come ?", "why don't we have a coffee somewhere ?" ...). It will always exist such a gap between your acts and what’s really in your mind, what you would expect yourself to do or want to happen. The only way to know is to break the barrier and try. Next time just tell what you really want.


Vidéo envoyée par chocolate6

corto espaniol


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Lesson Nr. 5

Happiness, sometimes, is to not understand
in François lelord's "Hector's journey"

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Viktoria Park

Viktoria Park

Usually on saturdays I take it easy. This saturday I took it veeeryyyyyyy easy. Woke up early but remained in bed, finished a book I had since a long time, took a long breakfast, bla bla bla all those things. Mid afternoon, noticing the weather was not that great but still OK, I decided to go to the pool. That's what I do on saturdays. It helps the body to erase all this pain accumulated during the week. As you may know, Berlin is a poor city and can't manage to have all Its pools opened during summer. That means most of the pools in the city (and "mine" particularly) are closed. The city sends the life guards to the lakes or they are simply on holidays. Knowing that (at least !) I decided to go to an open-air one in Kreuzberg, not too far from home. It's opened until 20:00, so everything is going well. Some clouds above my head but nothing serious. When I arrived, I pay the fee and the guy shows me the information on the window that says : they're expecting some storm anytime soon and when It's there, we have to leave the pool. But I didn't have the time to even get undressed because you have to bring your own padlock if you want to use the locker room. You didn't know ? me neither ! I asked the guy and I used the wrong word so he did not understand what I wanted (typically german, I said cupboard instead of locker) and he told me It's been years the same way. Halloooooooooooooooo, don't you notice I'm not from here ? well anyway, after that I just had to go out and lose the ticket. Almost in a bad mood already, the sky was getting darker and darker and I said to myself I need to find a safe place, to wait the storm to pass by. I elected the department store Domäne. I've been there once and I was amazed all the things you can find inside. It's not top quality, It's not design, darling, but It's cheap and if you're looking a store to redecorate your home, you might find little useful things. I call it the turkish Ikea (mainly because It's in Kreuzberg, the second most important turkish city after Istanbul) but while you walk on the ground floor with the swedish manufacturer following an indicated way, there you go floor to floor. I took some little ideas for the future, and the last rain drop fallen, I took the bike back, not really knowing where I was heading to. Believing I was driving home, I took the wrong way and headed to an unknown place to me until now. Reading my city map (always in my bag, not crazy the bee), I discovered I was at Viktoria Park, completely in the south of Kreuzberg. The district of Kreuzberg in Berlin takes its name from the Kreuzberg or Hill of the Cross (66 m/217ft high) which lies to the south of the city near Tempelhof Airport. Around 1300, the hill was still known as the "Tempelhofer Berg," and it was then owned by the Franciscans to whom it had been donated. Later it became known as the "Runde" or "Götzesche Weinberg" as vines were cultivated here until 1740. The area around the hill (16 hectares/40 acres) was laid out by Hermann Mächtig at the end of the 19th C. as the Viktoria- Park. It was extended in 1913-14. It boasts a toboggan-run and an artificial waterfall modeled on the Zackenfall in the Riesengebirge. The vine-growing tradition has now been revived in the park. In 1818-21 a monument designed by K. F. Schinkel was erected on the hill to commemorate the Wars of Liberation of 1813-15. It was crowned by an iron cross, and accordingly the hill was thereafter known as the Kreuzberg. Twelve statues symbolize the principal victories and are depicted in the clothes of outstanding personalities of the time. Don't ask how I arrived there but because after the rain comes the sun, I decided to make a stop. Berlin is full of parks, this is true. But this one is amazing. After the waterfall, on top of the hill, you have one of the most amazing point of view of the city. And the park after the rain is beautiful. I know walking in the rain brings a special feeling but the smell of the wet grass is not bad either. Anyway I stayed quite a while until I found my way back home, just when It started to rain again.

Upside down

We should live our life upside down :
We would start by dying, It will erase the trauma that follows us during all our life
Then you wake up in an old people’s home and you get better day after day
Then we throw you out pretending you’re in good health and you start to get your pension
Then at your first day at work, we offer you a gold watch
You work 40 years until you’re young enough to enjoy the rest of your active life
You go from party to party, you drink, you fuck, you have no serious problems
You prepare yourself to study at university
Then it’s school, you play with your buddies, without any obligations until you become a baby
You spend the last 9 months of your life floating cool, with central heating, room service, etc …
And final, you leave this shitty world in an orgasm !


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Lesson Nr. 4

A lot of people think that happiness is to become richer or more important
in François lelord's "Hector's journey"


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After the rush of the last weeks, I start to cool down. Even if I am very tired and need a lot of sleep, I’m happy with what has been achieved, personally and professionally. I am so down lately that I canceled all my dining out for the next days because your body sometimes warns you that maybe you’re pushing a bit too much. You notice then you’re growing older. It’s not that easy anymore to manage all together and on an intensive rhythm : working hard, managing private important matters, going out every night, smoking, drinking, partying. You start to not feel that well, your back hurts, you’re moody, the wine tastes sour, your throat doesn’t accept the smoke, you can’t talk loud as you used to do, you lose appetite, your heart reacts and the beats are going too fast. When I hear my body requesting help, I know It’s time. People will carry on without me so It’s me who will not have the same fun for the next weeks. The fridge is empty since days so It is time to go back to the market, choosing healthy fresh and simple food, I cook at home, having time to solve issues I let down for a while, I go to bed early and sleep for a long time. It’s easy actually to let you go partying all time. Strange how you accommodate for almost everything. But I feel quieter now. I still have 2-3 weeks with hard work and then I will take a break. Before the end of the month I will turn 42 and I think this is the best time of my life, ever. When people complain about everything (and I did too for years) because the job is too demanding, the money is bad, private life is not what is expected, you get the feeling you’re achieving nothing and you feel unhappy. On my side I reach a kind of serenity. I don’t need the rush I had years ago. I have a job that pays the rent and the food, allows me to go out, my body is OK (touching wood !), I have wonderful friends to count on, I meet new people who open perspectives. It’s like an achievement I tried to reach for decades. Looking at the window I’m listening my nice heart beating, having a rest and waiting for the next adventure. Being at the pool, looking at the parents taking care of their children, I don’t feel an insufficiency as if I missed something to not have my own family. I know nobody will take care of me later on because I am the last one with my name and that is why I start to think about the future and try to organize things, just in case. Then I can enjoy my life. Like a Flame.

Monday, July 14, 2008


Vincent Malloy is seven years old
He’s always polite and does what he’s told
For a boy his age, he’s considerate and nice
But he wants to be just like Vincent Price
He doesn’t mind living with his sister, dog and cats
Though he’d rather share a home with spiders and bats
There he could reflect on the horrors he’s invented
And wander dark hallways, alone and tormented
Vincent is nice when his aunt comes to see him
But imagines dipping her in wax for his wax museum
He likes to experiment on his dog Abercrombie
In the hopes of creating a horrible zombie
So he and his horrible zombie dog
Could go searching for victims in the London fog
His thoughts, though, aren’t only of ghoulish crimes
He likes to paint and read to pass some of the times
While other kids read books like Go, Jane, Go!
Vincent’s favourite author is Edgar Allen Poe
One night, while reading a gruesome tale
He read a passage that made him turn pale
Such horrible news he could not survive
For his beautiful wife had been buried alive!
He dug out her grave to make sure she was dead
Unaware that her grave was his mother’s flower bed
His mother sent Vincent off to his room
He knew he’d been banished to the tower of doom
Where he was sentenced to spend the rest of his life
Alone with the portrait of his beautiful wife
While alone and insane encased in his tomb
Vincent’s mother burst suddenly into the room
She said: “If you want to, you can go out and play
It’s sunny outside, and a beautiful day”
Vincent tried to talk, but he just couldn’t speak
The years of isolation had made him quite weak
So he took out some paper and scrawled with a pen:
“I am possessed by this house, and can never leave it again”
His mother said: “You’re not possessed, and you’re not almost dead
These games that you play are all in your head
You’re not Vincent Price, you’re Vincent Malloy
You’re not tormented or insane, you’re just a young boy
You’re seven years old and you are my son
I want you to get outside and have some real fun.
”Her anger now spent, she walked out through the hall
And while Vincent backed slowly against the wall
The room started to swell, to shiver and creak
His horrid insanity had reached its peak
He saw Abercrombie, his zombie slave
And heard his wife call from beyond the grave
She spoke from her coffin and made ghoulish demands
While, through cracking walls, reached skeleton hands
Every horror in his life that had crept through his dreams
Swept his mad laughter to terrified screams!
To escape the madness, he reached for the door
But fell limp and lifeless down on the floor
His voice was soft and very slow
As he quoted The Raven from Edgar Allen Poe:
“and my soul from out that shadow
that lies floating on the floorshall be lifted?

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Lesson Nr. 2

Happiness comes often by surprise
in François lelord's "Hector's journey"

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Yes !

One year

Looking at older files, I just notice that this blog is now one year old. I never figured out I would ever have a blog in a lifetime, I never figured out It would last a year, I would never have figured out anything, anyway. Whatever. Now It's more like a faithfull friend who's always there when needed : to have fun, to share, to complain, ... anything I wish. I hope you like it. It's not something I'm normally keen on asking but ego is there nevertheless, so If there are some among you, from the first date or since yesterday, want to drop a line, a critic, a request, a thank you, ..., or just a hello, feel free to do in the comments.

A great deal

Fête nationale

So, I confirm, this is official, next Monday is 14th of July, the national day in France. It happens once a year at the same date (I'm positive) and every year we need to show our country we love it and our president make its demonstration of power (together with a speech about our nation) showing on the Champs Elysées in Paris our army. So there is during hours long a procession of tanks, canons, planes, lucky us there is no boats demonstration on the river Seine, horses (hmmmm ...), guards (wouah !), army men (a lot), army women (a few) and a lot of other things that make people happy and proud to be there and/or to be french. I will not speak about the present situation in my country as I not really agree with everything but everyone has his own opinion. If you want to talk about it, invite me for dinner. Actually this is the best moment in the city to do shopping or to visit any monument because the city is empty. Of course traffic is congestioned as usual but if you're a walker or a bicycle rider, go for it. I think every french embassy in the world has to show somehow that the celebration can take place anywhere, showing that France takes care of its fellows abroad. And this is happening. Usually the embassy is giving what they call a (in french in the text) garden party but this year we are all invited to a free party on Pariser Platz (this is the real name of the place, actually this is where the Brandenburg Tor is, in the past no man's land). The program of the Fête nationale is rich of animations, food stands ... all day long. In the evening there will be concerts of french groups (but nothing modern, only what is called "chanson française"). I did not see on the program any fireworks planned, what a shame because It is tradition. One very popular thing I will miss as well is the "firemen bal". The "bal des pompiers" is very famous in every city (especially in Paris in the first arrondissement) because It is the gayest place at this very date. And being invited by firemen is such a cliché that we always had a lot of fun watching our queer friends trying desperatly to have some fun with those "men on duty". And when one agreed for a dance or a kiss ...


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Lesson Nr. 1

A good way to spoil its happiness, is to make comparisons
in François lelord's "Hector's journey"

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Men juice

Today on Ebay took place an auction in the category : bizarre-art, fetish-gay for "bathing costume juice". But what is it ? Number of the subject : 120269039378 (so you can prove this is true). Description from the auctioner : "15 ml of men bathing costumes taken from the changing rooms of the swimming pool Georges Vallerey in Paris, 20° arrondissement. In a brown little chemistry bottle. Attention!!! serious add. It is really 100% of pressed juice (not added with anything) from men bathing costumes, exclusively. I took it with great careful ceremony from the buckets in the changing rooms to avoid dirtying the floor. This precious nectar, with its delicate smell, will remind you the warm and manly atmosphere of collective changing rooms and will bring you complete satisfaction". Auction is closed .
Did you know that when there was still urinals in the streets of Paris (you still can see some of them, truly) some people put some bread on the floor in order to collect the male urine ? Bon appétit, mon chéri !

Tuesday, July 8, 2008


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In a few days is the 14th of July, french national day. But celebration of what, outside having a bank holiday, heading to holidays completely in stress in the car and fireworks everywhere ? The Fête de la Fédération of the 14 July 1790 was a huge feast and official event to celebrate the establishment of the short-lived constitutional monarchy in France and what people of the time considered to be the happy conclusion of the French Revolution, the outcome hoped for by the monarchiens. Held on the first anniversary of the storming of the Bastille, it is commemorated every year by what is improperly known in English as "Bastille Day" (Fête du 14 juillet in French). The Fête de la Fédération in Paris was the most prominent event of a series of spontaneous celebrations all over France: from August 1789, Fédérations appeared in towns and countryside; on 5 June 1790, with lots of individual feasts to celebrate the new state of France, a constitutional monarchy. the National Assembly approved the suggestion by the Commune de Paris to organise a "general Federation". Organised late, it was largely an improvisation. The idea was not to contest the legitimacy of the king Louis XVI, but to show the general will for stable institutions and a national reconciliation and unity. In the words of Jean Sylvain Bailly, astronomer and mayor of Paris: "We suggest that this meeting (...) be sworn on the next 14 July, which we shall all see as the time of liberty: this day shall be spent swearing to uphold and defend it". Charon, President of the Commune of Paris, stated: "French, we are free! French, we are brothers!". yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. All this "we are brothers" thing does not exist in my country. You're happy at a point, you smile but It's not to say "we are brothers". Because Berlin has a big community of French, since there was the army in the city, and some never left and founded family, settling here. Most of them have their home north of the city, in Pankow, where the old french buildings are located. When the army left, they took over the buildings and kept on living there when It was not tranformed in luxury lofts. They had their schools, their supermarkets, their administration, in one word, they could live in complete autarky. They had to adapt with german administration after the wall fell but they still have schools, supermarkets and consulate is not very far. Some other like me decided to play integrity and establish themselves with the german population. If I wanted to live among my people, I would live in France. My status gives me the great chance of being french outside my country and I like it very much. France is still seen as a beautiful place and in a way History gives me privilege of being seen as man with nice manners, who knows how to cook, is able to talk about many subjects and with a free mentality. And they looooove my accent. Next week-end will take place in Pariser Platz (of course) festivities and I'll make soon my programm. I have the intention to meet some of my felows there. Let's see how far "brothers" we are.

Sunday, July 6, 2008


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Papy boom

It's nice to get old, and I mean way after your 60's birthday when all is right. I mean, when you hear everything that is done for elderly, It's amazing. Suddenly those old things have more activities than I have. Everyday when I leave for work and drive through Alexanderplatz, there are buses waiting early morning to bring the grandparents anywhere in the country to join funny events. It's for the best, no problem with that. Unfortunatly, not everyone has this healthy condition and the question starts to be asked because there is hardly a solution : what are we supposed to do with your parents when they can't behave themselves ? It seems that no one wants to take care of them. Institutions are full booked, they even request a waiting list and the grandma or grandpa should not be too "wild". Parents do not want to have at home the old one until the end. I understand, they already had the children to raise, no need to keep on cleaning the shit out of your own parents. They're tired, they want to go on holiday, forget. Money's missing, private institutions can't accept the file, hospital reject when It is physically fine, sanatorium is temporary, so what ? whishing they die as soon as possible to free everyone, beginning by themselves ? sometimes when you see those vegetables, you just wish to die before loosing conscience of all this.


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Business Talk

It's always the same with the summer yearly work party. It's just boring, you don't want to be there, the weather is bad, the speech is neverending, and you say to yourself : "one hour, not more". Especially when your colleagues say the same. Then comes the first drink to share, you're shaking hands, we are all part of the family, you lite the first cig, you carry on meeting people you didn't see for long, "hey there, next Monday squash with me ?" (of course, dude, I'll break your back again), you refill the glass (shit, they already run out of red wine ?, but how long have I been there ? or how long did it take me to reach the bar ?) then you're hungry and the kitchen is almost closed, you meet your team who wants to have a bite with you, and then the show must go on, colleagues start to sing on the scene, disco is on and you start drinking Caperinha as It was only water with ice cubes and mint. Last thing I remember when I came back home : I fell on the floor.

Thursday, July 3, 2008


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Weather forecast

It is incredibly warm, over 30°C. Friends are in the city and some other ask me for relationship advices (me ?). I took a day off just to rest. Tonight I do the whole bunch (again !) from Moebel Olfe to Chantal house of shame. I think I might go for a change soon. A storm is coming ...