The art of survival

And here it is. Worse than a Monday Morning syndrome. Your eye looks like a non-fresh ham slice, your face is a “work in progress”, and you only have one urge rather than being at work : stay as deep as you can in your bed, waiting that nothing happens. The little aperitif with friends changed itself in 22 Mojitos, the drink with colleagues in a Homeric hangover, the friends who must be at school with you at 8:20 still had a bottle in their hand at 2:00 a.m., and the list is non-exhaustive. But let’s face it. The day after during the week is to be paid a high price, especially when you are a bit more than 35 and when you must go, you must go, sleep or not, the big capital just does not care, the employee must be at work. You will have to face the other colleagues, the appointments, the business lunch, the morning meeting. Survive at the afternoon is not even thinkable when in real life, you would go to bed at the afternoon break time. And what to say ? Confess our night’s orgy or plead sickness ? which survival strategies can you adopt to look like human when you arrive at work ? some testimonies of colleagues, all between 30 and 50 years old. 1 – A : I boast of the hangover, at the risk of having the reputation of being alcoholic. But at the time, I try not to drink during the week, meaning that I over-compensate during week-ends, then I feel very guilty and the Monday Morning is quite miserable. As a general rule, I eat for 4, just to recover. B – I’m just experimenting, at this very moment, the day after getting drunk. In general, It’s very funny in the morning, when you still have the rest of the night (but be careful with your communicative drives at this moment). It’s getting bad after lunch and frankly said, It happened to be, I looked for a quiet place to close my eyes half an hour. C – It depends. If I see that the mood is good, I can play with it but if I have The meeting with big chief, I take a very bad temper and I can charge a disease of my little boy and I had to call ER at 3:00 a.m. Then I drink cold green tea all day long and to gym at lunch time before eating Chinese, very greasy and salty. D – I talk about it and tell everything, the why of the how, I talk about my alcoholic father, of the bad consciousness to drink too much, I find excuses for me and my behavior, I take an aspirin most of the time and I drink a lot of water. E – I know no tricks. I just try to pass the day by taking an aspirin in the morning. But I don’t hide my state of having a hangover. It makes my mistakes being accepted and my colleagues find this funny. Certainly due to the fact that last time, they knew I was arriving only by following the smell of vodka spread in the air. Though I had taken a shower, brush my teeth and all those things, but I admit when you ooze alcohol, there is not much left to do. F – I always say : I have a hangover or at least that I went to bed very late (or very early this morning). It takes me a bit of my role at work which is very conservative. People say themselves then I have a life. My thing is the micro sleep in the toilets after lunch. To eat a lot because when you drink, you drink more than you eat. I wash my hair in the morning, I try to look smart with the clothes to hide my bad face, I eat oranges and I go for a walk outside in the fresh air. G – I never say at the office that I do excesses. I work with a very interesting stock of very conservative people and if I need to justify that I have less energy, I talk about a new muted virus, something trendy. Then I drink a cocktail of vitamins, aspirin and coffee and at lunch time the Chinese ultra strong soup. H – The big advantage I have is that I can hide myself behind my computer, all day long if I want, without seeing anyone. Years before when I was a young and stupid guy, I used to talk about it the day after getting drunk. Now I’m not that clever anymore and I try to be as invisible as I can. The days of hangover, I want to jump on all my ladies colleagues. It usually goes away after lunch. I – At work, no need to talk about it, you just need to see my ugly face, my skin oozing the wine, the dead look. Then, to survive the day, I have a good ritual. I start with a aspirin with vitamins, a few glasses of coca cola, a coffee, I brush my teeth twice, I eat mint gums during the metro or bus fare. At lunch time, I eat vegetables and fresh fruits, salads and It goes quietly. J – Oh, yes, you can definitely talk about it at work. It puts on nerves the well thinking and It’s fun for the funny ones. Following the reactions of the ones and the others, you can build better your nets in the company. We can’t be friends with everyone neither. But my technique, if I forgot to have my aspirin the night before is to stay home. Like yesterday.