Job offer of a big banking group, read in a French classified adds paper. It is crazy what we can find in a waiting room.
What is written :
Looking for personnal assistant M/W.
What is to understand :
They’re looking for a female assistant. For the most avant-gardist, a transsexual.
What is written :
Within the operational management, you are the secretary of the managers of the departement and manage a team of three persons.
What is to understand :
This department is infested with persons in charge, apprentices persons in charge, responsible officer cadets, who wait only for an assistant to quarrel her, divide her rests and prove through her intermediary their importance. She will also manage during her breaks and hours of lunch three other executives which will have in heart to give the illusion to work like the big ones, which have their names on the door of their office.
What is written :
You manage the mail, the schedules, the appointment setting. You organize the internal seminars of the department (logistic organization, participation in the elaboration layouts for meetings).
What is to understand :
Knowing by heart the schedule of 49 co-workers, sell yourself to delay the closing of the Post office, tattoo on your forearm the address and phone number of the important customers … The assistant will motivate herself by deciphering the hieroglyphs of the manager to retranscribe the reports of the meetings to which you will never be invited.
What is written :
You take care of the logistic follow-up (management of stationery, order iin tensed flows, manage workspaces, manage the office tools).
What is to understand :
The assistant will handle the constant supply with fine point pens, with world peace and the global warming, with for unique Graal that to be managed by panicked managers with the idea of opening their mailbox without her warm support.
What is written :
Two or three years' university degree, first job or with experience, you possess a very good level of written and oral expression in English.
What is to understand :
It is imperative to have a diploma, otherwise the manager would feel a lesser satisfaction to flog publicly his assistant with his +30 years degree. The wealth of her first work experience will compensate widely the funny proposed salary, as far as she will have the satisfaction to complain about its standard of living in several languages.
What is written :
Dynamic, you are reactive and effective, and know how to manage the priorities. Your relational qualities and your ease of contact will be main advantages to evolve and win in responsibility in a demanding international environment.
What is to understand :
Anticipation's Davis Cup on beaten carpet, the assistant will never take offence at the dry tone of its new superiors, which will slap her to be priority. She will accept with gratitude a working mass in constant increase and a salary in constant stagnation.
What is written :
Thank you for applying directly on our site: www.prisonbreak.com [main Characters: Michael Scofield's blue eyes and his back covered with tattoos, supposed to divert the attention of its oversize abs].
What is to understand :
To apply on-line will ask the assistant three hours of relentless work, because it will be impossible for her to attach her CV in Word format, the site being programmed to accept only the format RTF by full moon. Anyway, Internet Explorer would have preferred to shut down rather than to participate at this masquerade.
The assistant, finally taught, will never be the willing victim of sneaky and deceitful announcements.
Let us laugh about such adds. But do not forget that sometimes, there are no job adds anymore.
What is written :
Looking for personnal assistant M/W.
What is to understand :
They’re looking for a female assistant. For the most avant-gardist, a transsexual.
What is written :
Within the operational management, you are the secretary of the managers of the departement and manage a team of three persons.
What is to understand :
This department is infested with persons in charge, apprentices persons in charge, responsible officer cadets, who wait only for an assistant to quarrel her, divide her rests and prove through her intermediary their importance. She will also manage during her breaks and hours of lunch three other executives which will have in heart to give the illusion to work like the big ones, which have their names on the door of their office.
What is written :
You manage the mail, the schedules, the appointment setting. You organize the internal seminars of the department (logistic organization, participation in the elaboration layouts for meetings).
What is to understand :
Knowing by heart the schedule of 49 co-workers, sell yourself to delay the closing of the Post office, tattoo on your forearm the address and phone number of the important customers … The assistant will motivate herself by deciphering the hieroglyphs of the manager to retranscribe the reports of the meetings to which you will never be invited.
What is written :
You take care of the logistic follow-up (management of stationery, order iin tensed flows, manage workspaces, manage the office tools).
What is to understand :
The assistant will handle the constant supply with fine point pens, with world peace and the global warming, with for unique Graal that to be managed by panicked managers with the idea of opening their mailbox without her warm support.
What is written :
Two or three years' university degree, first job or with experience, you possess a very good level of written and oral expression in English.
What is to understand :
It is imperative to have a diploma, otherwise the manager would feel a lesser satisfaction to flog publicly his assistant with his +30 years degree. The wealth of her first work experience will compensate widely the funny proposed salary, as far as she will have the satisfaction to complain about its standard of living in several languages.
What is written :
Dynamic, you are reactive and effective, and know how to manage the priorities. Your relational qualities and your ease of contact will be main advantages to evolve and win in responsibility in a demanding international environment.
What is to understand :
Anticipation's Davis Cup on beaten carpet, the assistant will never take offence at the dry tone of its new superiors, which will slap her to be priority. She will accept with gratitude a working mass in constant increase and a salary in constant stagnation.
What is written :
Thank you for applying directly on our site: www.prisonbreak.com [main Characters: Michael Scofield's blue eyes and his back covered with tattoos, supposed to divert the attention of its oversize abs].
What is to understand :
To apply on-line will ask the assistant three hours of relentless work, because it will be impossible for her to attach her CV in Word format, the site being programmed to accept only the format RTF by full moon. Anyway, Internet Explorer would have preferred to shut down rather than to participate at this masquerade.
The assistant, finally taught, will never be the willing victim of sneaky and deceitful announcements.
Let us laugh about such adds. But do not forget that sometimes, there are no job adds anymore.
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