The flying Dutchman

It was a time I was afraid to be judged. I guess with the time as we all get older our personality is made and most important we accept it as it is. Of course there will be little changes or some characteristics will become more important. And it also means that finally people have to do with you the way you are. That is the contrary of who you are when you're younger because we all learn from school - family - education - religion ... that there is only one way in life : being in conformity with. I had last night a very interesting conversation with people I met for the first time. I used to work in Barcelona with a dutch guy and we stayed in contact from far when he moved back to Holland. He came for the week-end here with his 3 friends and I had to be introduced to them. There was a time I would have made myself worries about the correct behaviour to have and try to act the good way to please them. This is not the case anymore. Take it like it is or leave it. I know I can hurt sometimes and I accidently did it gain (oups !) but in the end it makes you think. In the end people are thankful because they know you're not playing a role just to be nice. They're younger than I am and straight. Gay world is unknown to them and I had the feeling sometimes that they were studying a rat. One particularly asked a lot of questions. I guess he was tempted and he will one day try. They also have those clichés of life. They're looking all the time for new girls to have sex with. They don't stick to one target, they have tenths. Then they want to get married because they need someone home to clean the shirts and to fix dinner. Of course they want to be a dad because it is politicaly correct and it assures the continuity of the blood line. Dutch people are very nice people. Most of them I know I was always pleased to have contact with but the thing is that they hardly speak of themselves. Also "loin des yeux loin du coeur" meaning that once you don't live next door they're gone. They approved. And started to talk about themselves so I was positively surprised that they trust me. So I was right to be myself. Of course there will not be any following and everyone is back today to his duty. Tomorrow is Mongay again. A nice night at the Rodeo.