It's not happening

Sometimes you just want to please people. Not because you want to but because you just say yes without thinking and the minute you're saying it, you regret because you know at least if it will not be a bad time it won't be a good one. It happens every year the same : let's take for example the New year's Eve. Mid-december everyone enjoys about the invitation they will receive and at the last minute no-one shows up or cancels. It happens actually all the time. I knew that tonight will not be good and I don't really appreciate to feel the need most of the time to play my role of entertaining people when it's no fun. I guess it shows. And sometimes people just do not fit together. Too much differences of culture, lives, age, relationships and awaitings from life. I am always amazed as well of people who are 20 years younger than I am to be so boring and sad. Even the places they choose do not invite you to have a good time. Everytime I say I should decline but the little devil of mine asks to give it a try because we never know. But it's not true. I had more fun yesterday when I joined a couple of friends in Moebel Olfe trying to have a "conversation" with deaf people (very nice group by the way, I wish I will meet them again) than with "well educated" others that don't even look at me when I force myself to engage a conversation. I guess I simply should not but I'm a nice guy and I believe there is always something interesting in each and everyone. I'm just wrong. I really should concentrate on me myself and I. And that's the moment I choose to say goodbye because I'm bored and I really have something else to do. At this very moment I need to go out by myself just to calm down and be incognito anywhere. It's a moment for myself.

But the fun is gone and I feel a bit sad. So the best thing to do is either go to the gym or to bed. Most of the time the second option is best. But it feels like missing good time. Lucky me it's week-end. Let's see the next surprise.