Pain

So earlier I was at the bank to withdraw cash and i am in front of the machine. And then I started to cry. When will it end, this sadness and pain ? does it anytime go away ? Is there nowhere in my mind that I can make him away so I can start to live again without thinking of him all the time ? I want to be with him, I want him to take me in his arms, I want to talk and laugh with him, I want to have sex with him, I want to spend my life with him. But he rejected me. So there is a future only in my head and not in reality. I hate that so much.